Very soon after I was called to full-time ministry I heard a teaching that
has served me well over the years. The essence of it is this: love God more
than ministry.
It is so easy--especially for the male species for some
reason--to fall for work rather than relationship. We do have work to do. God
gives gifts of His Spirit and practical skills to do work. But the most
typical thing for us to do is to deny the Lord Jesus time, fellowship,
prayer, personal Bible study, devotions in order to "get the work of the
ministry done."
Many Christian ministers are slaves to a kingdom of their own
making. Some are slaves to an agenda designed by others.
I am not saying we
should do whatever we feel like, nor am I saying that if ministry leaders
give you a task you have the eternal right to reject them and the task and
just sit around praying all the day! What I am saying is that it is easy to
forget God even while one is telling and demonstrating Him to the wide world.
I am often asked how I have lasted in community living, full-time service,
pastoral as well as evangelistic ministry for as long as I have. The glib
(though true) answer is that it's a matter of God's grace in my life, a
matter of the power of the Holy Spirit, a matter also of personal daily
obedience to the Lord and His Word.
Yet I must add that I have made time with
Jesus in His Word, prayer (without ceasing), ongoing worship, and daily
devotions a most central priority in my life and marriage.
Why many servants
fail and fall is very clear. One huge reason is that they understood the
concepts, perhaps the verses, biblical Greek and Hebrew, human language and
even the personal experience of God's love--but didn't fellowship with Him
the more time they spent telling others about it.
We can get so busy doing
the work of the gospel that we rarely stop and consider the atonement--what
it really means to us! We can officiate so often at the Lord's Supper that we
don't focus on the meaning for our own life.
Preaching, teaching, writing,
singing about biblical love and intimacy is something I am convinced many
more Christians should be doing. At the same time, we need to reach out and
up to the God we so passionately communicate to others. He's always, always
desiring deeper fellowship with us.
I cannot tell you I have always kept my
own personal devotional time with Him perfectly, because I have not. What I
can tell you is that I have rarely sensed the "hanging on by the fingernails"
sort of relationship with God that others have experienced. I have certainly
had times of deep closeness and other times in the valley where I "felt"
God's manifest presence very little. But none of this has stopped me from
asking, seeking, knocking.
And I have found Him as you will--all in His good
time, for the thing He most wants from us is us.
The Lord must have the last word: "When you search for me, you will find me;
if you seek me with all your heart." —Jeremiah 29:13 +nrsv+
